Cat Parent Interview: Bernadette of Bernadette Teaches Music

Photos courtesy of Bernadette Plazola

If you have ever thought about learning to play the ukulele or guitar, I hope that Life has been kind enough to lead you to Bernadette. The creator behind Bernadette Teaches Music, Bernadette is a teacher, a musician, an incredibly wise soul — and a cat mama! I am so delighted to have her join us for this edition of Cat Parent Interviews. In this open-hearted conversation, we talk about her journey as a content creator; KitKat’s adoption story; cats and babies; and, so much more. Here’s Bernadette:

Tell us a little bit about yourself, Bernadette! What lights you up, and how did you arrive at where you are today?

Ever since I was in kindergarten, I’ve wanted to be a teacher. I would ask the teacher for the name roster so that I could do pretend attendance! At the same time, I have a deep love for music, which I think is one of those things that everyone has in their heart. There's some kind of connection we all have to music. For example, there are radios in every single car. You don't see a Bunsen burner. But many people didn't have the opportunity to learn to make music.

So after graduating with my Bachelor's in Music and Master's in Education, I began teaching in school systems. However, I started seeing the education system change in ways I didn't agree with. For example, I didn't agree with the decreasing the amount of breaks for children and increasing the amout of time they were expected to spend at a desk completing worksheets. Also teachers’ prep and planning time were being eroded by meetings or other added tasks. Then I had a turning point. An administrator asked me to do bus duty in front of another school, but I taught classes all the way to the end of the school day, and I knew I couldn’t make it in time. Sure enough on my first day, I had a child who lost the highlighter that she had spent her entire savings on to buy at the Student Store. This kid was devastated. I had to help her. We looked under everything, and thankfully we found her highlighter. Then I ran to my bus duty spot, but in front of other teachers, parents and students, this administrator called me out. And I had it. I was like: “The school motto is kids come first. Now, if you want me to put you first tell me right now. And if that's what you want, I'm going to dismiss my class early, and then I'll be at the spot you want me to be.” In retrospect, I should not have interacted like that with an administrator in front of parents and students and peers, and we did make amends. However, that was the moment I decided that I need to bring this career to a close. And so I worked really, really hard on my YouTube channel to make that the career I could get into.

Nowadays, I love demystifying learning to play an instrument (ukulele is the best gateway drug for this) and helping students of different ages — a 92 retiree, a 20 year old person who got laid off from a job, a 50 year old who was working from home all day in quarantine by themselves and needed something to do to not go absolutely crazy etc. — discover that it is totally possible for them to learn to play music.

Wow, hearing about your journey literally gave me goosebumps. Tell us about KitKat! How did she come into your life?

I was working and living in Okinawa, Japan, and one day while driving, I saw something move out of the corner of my eye. This street had a blind curve so I knew she’d get run over, whatever she was. So in the span of seconds, I pulled over, saw this tiny cat, picked her up, tucked her in my shirt, and kept driving to work. When I got to work, I got a good look at her for the first time. She had mucus all over her eyes, nose, and mouth, and she was screaming because she was scared. I had to go teach class so I asked my friend Chad, who managed all of the school supplies, to please take care of her until I was done with my lessons. When I ran back after my classes, I saw that Chad had made a cozy bed for her with a box and some clothes from the Lost and Found. KitKat had nestled herself in and was looking comfortable. So I insisted that my friend got to name her. He resisted at first but then suddently bursts out: “She's KitKat!” That’s how she came into my life and how she got her name.

Talk about becoming a cat mom in a split second decision! You rescued KitKat in Okinawa, and now you both live in the US. What was that international move like?

It was scary, because I didn't know if she had to go under the plane in the pet compartment. Thankfully, she didn't have to. And it happened to be an almost empty flight, so I got to let her out a little after checking with my fellow passengers. I had put a leash on her (I started walking her on a leash from day one), and the flight attendants doted on her and brought her some warm egg to eat. After eating, she was quite content. It was surprisingly easy.

That’s so unexpected and relieving! How old is KitKat now, and what’s her personality like?

She's about four. She's always been so adaptable from day one. No matter where we go, she has the attitude of “Okay, this is where I am now.“ Everyone who meets her is surprised by how friendly and sweet she is. And she will never, ever, scratch. Ever, ever, ever. If you pet her the wrong way, she just walks away. And she is so patient with my toddler, Daniella. KitKat surprises me every single day.

That’s amazing! When you first brought Daniella home, what did they think of each other?

In the beginning, I was very protective of my daughter because she was in the NICU for a week and needed blood transfusions. It was a really terrifying time. I didn't even want other people holding my baby. Interestingly, KitKat is the type of cat who knows when you're sick before you know. And before giving birth to Daniella, I could not shake her off. I did not know what got into her, but it worried me. And sure enough, my water had burst from the top, and I was just leaking slowly, and Daniella was losing fluids. So when I finally got to the hospital, they said you should have been here 16 hours ago. This is a really risky delivery, and even the medical professionals were scared. But once the baby was fine, thankfully, I started becoming more comfortable with KitKat being around her.

The first time the baby reached for KitKat’s face and pull on her ears, I froze and was terrified of how KitKat would respond. She didn’t even react. I was overcome with relief, and I thanked her. I was ready to defend KitKat, but she enjoys being around the baby. As Daniella grows and learns, KitKat is never feisty, never aggressive. Always calm. When she has had enough, she just walks away or she'll climb to a high spot. I am teaching the baby how to respect KitKat’s boundaries, and she is learning to mimic how I pet KitKat. Daniella gets so excited when KitKat starts purring or leaning into her touch. It’s really cute to see how their relationship is evolving. They're totally going to be best friends. I did not expect that.

That melts my heart! How does KitKat feel about music and Youtube?

One of my most popular videos is Your First Ukulele Lesson. When I was filming it, I put a barstool next to me to see if KitKat wanted to join. And she did. Animals are soothing, which is so good because when you're trying something new, you often feel vulnerable or a little nervous because you don't know if you're going to do well. But with KitKat on the screen, I knew that will make people feel welcomed. And then it became almost comical, because I'm very seriously instructing “Now you're gonna put your finger here” while KitKat is cleaning her butt. And there have been a few videos, especially when I do an unboxing, where she pops in for a cameo.

I love that KitKat can be a part of this community. But I promised myself from the beginning I would never monetize on my animals and I will never put any pressure on her to participate. She's part of the channel when she wants to be, and when she doesn't want to be I'm not going to force it. I'm not going to put catnip all over stuff just to make her come and be a part of the videos. Funnily enough, she loves being next to me — and all the warm lights.

With being a full-time content creator, a mom, etc., what does balance look like for you right now?
I think mom guilt is very real, both for babies and furbabies. At the end of the day, I would worry that I did not spend the amount of time with her that she deserves, or that I didn't do this thing or that thing. But we've fallen into a really nice groove. We live out in the country, so the first thing my family does when we wake up is go outside and start watering the grass and taking care of the flowers. Then when my mom comes to babysit Daniella, I come into my recording room and KitKat follows me and finds her spot for the day. She loves to fall asleep on the big bay window, and I’ll go over to pet her. I’ve come to realize: This is us together. I used to think that I had to do so much more, but she is content. We're both grown and we're just enjoying each other's company. The only part of the day when KitKat disappears is during the baby's naptime. For some reason KitKat doesn't like the baby being alone. So she'll go and just watch Daniella sleep. I would love to know what she's thinking. Probably “Alert! Baby is alone! I'm going to take care of her!”

KitKat is such a sweetheart! What are some things that you wish people knew about cats?

I think that as a society, we're getting better about seeing animals as feeling beings. People who have animals know this, but people who don't or don't have a really close relationship with their animals sometimes don’t see it this way. Every animal is an individual with his/her own personal wants and needs and fears and joys. For everyone who comes to my home, I wish they knew that if they just let the cat come to them, they would have all the pets they want. Let the cats decide on their own terms how you're going to interact. I wish that more people thought that way.

How has being KitKat’s mom impacted you as a person? 

There were many transitions in my life, like moving from Okinawa to the States, leaving the profession of teaching, or the times I thought about quitting my channel, when I felt a lot of fear and uncertainty. KitKat was that one stable being in my life. Everything in my life has changed, even the husband I had in Okinawa, who didn't want children. In the end, I decided that I really do want to be a mom and so the marriage had to end. And I started crying because I I wanted my cat with me. Then we moved into an apartment in an alley and my stuff got stolen from me. And it was just such a weird time. But she never showed any sign of stress through all of the moves that we made. She adapted everywhere and seeing her ok made me feel ok. That we could do this.

Thank you so much for sharing that, Bernadette. One more questions about you and KitKat — If you and KitKat are jamming together, what song would you play?

That's such a good question, because I make so much music in here! I think Can’t Help Falling in Love would be our song, because the song says “Wiseman say only fools rush in,” and this relationship was definitely rushed since I drove off the side of the street. And I couldn’t help falling in love with her. KitKat’s personality has been so sweet from day one.

Love it! Last question: What big dreams are you working on now?

For my Youtube channel, I used to externalize my definition of success until someone told me to set my goals on what I can control. That was a big mind shift for me. So instead of focusing on a million subscribers, for example, I focus on the type and number of posts I create. I’ve since broken it down even more. My goal now is to tend to my garden, to read a book to Daniella every single night before we go to sleep, to spend some one-on-one time with KitKat. And I focus on making just one video a week that really answers a question someone has and helps guide their way into music.

I am also starting an exciting new program. I have had it in my heart to teach others how to make their online businesses thrive, and I just created a 1:1 coaching program to help people who are committed to putting in the work elevate their entire business. Stay tuned for the launch :)

Thank you so much, Bernadette! You are an inspiration. Subscribe to Bernadette’s Youtube channel, support her work via Patreon, and connect with her on Instagram and Facebook!

P.S. You may also like On Cats and Babies: An Interview with Kara of Ophelia the Kitten